That Time I Admitted I (Used To Be) Lonely

February 5, 2013

If you’ve been with me since the beginning, you’ll know I moved to Houston in January 2012. It was the first time that I moved more then 75 miles away from my parents and the first person in my family to ever move out of the state. I was a thousand miles away from everything I had ever known, in the fourth largest city in the country.

Granted, I know I’m luckier than most. I had (and still have) an amazing, supportive best friend who also happens to be my husband. But it’s not the same.

I know what you might say.

“She’s crazy.”

Just hear me out, okay?

In college, I was almost constantly around by people that I knew. My school wasn’t big, maybe 6,000 undergrads. It had a small community feeling and I loved it. Being a part of the Greek system made it feel even more tight-knit. If you walked into your classes on the first day, you probably knew someone’s face or name.

But Houston… it wasn’t like that. I was completely surrounded by strangers. Total anonymity. (On one hand, do you know how awesome that feels? To know you can go to the grocery store looking like a hot mess and there is no chance you’ll see someone you know? It’s awesome.)

After a while, it lost it’s awesomeness. I mentioned many times that the reason I began blogging was to find out more about the city to which I was moving. Once I started attending the blogger meetups, I realized that I actually had a group of friends in Houston that I really connected with. FINALLY.

But here’s the kicker: what do you do when you’re thrust into a world that’s already established? People who have grown up here, have their friends and family, their churches, their book clubs. They’re not looking to find a new best friend. But you… you are. You’re an adult, trying to find a new playmate on the playground of life.

Coming to the realization that you are breaking into this world is a very weird feeling. I think the reason that Lindsay, Meg and I have gotten so close over the past few months is that none of us are originally from this area. We moved, all within the past two years, to a new city and had to basically start anew. But then there are other friends of mine, who have lived here for much longer. I love them just as much, but it’s such a weird thing to think that you’re coming into this established world. It’s very much like a new student at a high school. The cliques are established… how do you break in?

The thing that I struggle with the most is accepting the fact that some
people already have their friends. They have lived here for so long, and
just aren’t looking to add more. They’re at capacity. (Is that even a
real thing? Too many friends?) 

I know not everyone is like me. Some people thrive on being alone and don’t mind it one bit. I feel like this sometimes, but I’d much rather have that friend that I can call up at 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon and ask if they want to go sit and drink with you for a while. (Thanks for that, by the way, Meg!)
 

Have you ever moved somewhere and had to create a new social circle?
How did you meet people?

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