On your wedding day, so many things can possibly go wrong. I was lucky. If anything went wrong, I didn't know about it. It was truly a perfect day. Well, almost perfect.
Let's back track a few months. I met with our photographer and she explained to me the pros and cons of doing a first look, or a staged moment where the groom sees the bride for the first time. Many people say this is bad luck, but I've never been one for superstition. In fact, I tried to do as many things as I could for our wedding that broke tradition. But I digress.
I was all for the first look. I thought it would be a cute moment that would take the pressure off of that perfect moment when the church doors open. Nick was a little more traditional, though. He wanted that moment. It was pretty important to him that he didn't see me before the ceremony, so we decided to skip the first look. The photographer didn't pressure us one way or another, but in all honesty, I wish she had pushed us a little more to do it.
The day of the wedding came. I hadn't spoken to Nick since the end of the rehearsal dinner and I was starting to get a little nervous as the makeup and hair began. I can't express to you the nervousness that overcame me. I was shaking, couldn't sit down, and felt like I was going to be sick. All I wanted to do was talk to Nick, but I was told that I couldn't. (This is one thing I wish I had fought more. It was MY wedding dammit.)
By the time I got to the lobby to line up, I was shaking like a leaf. I felt weak in the knees and in the July heat, I felt like I was going to pass out. There was just so much pressure and anxiousness overcoming me that I actually had to excuse myself to the bathroom.
Y'all. I really didn't think I was going to make it down that aisle. I thought my dad was going to have to carry me. All I could think of was, "don't fall. Stare at Nick. He's the only one you need to look at."
The entire time I was standing on the stage, I was trying not to have a panic attack. I had a beautiful wedding, but it was all a blur. Having that time before the wedding to see my future husband and to get the initial jitters away... it would have been so worth it. I had such a beautiful wedding, but if I could do it all again, I would have done a first look.
Did you/will you have a first look?
23 comments:
We absolutely loved doing a first look! For one, the day was crazy busy, and I was glad to get to hug my soon-to-be husband and feel that everything in the craziness was for us and our love. Now, I did kind of have the "ugly cry" in some first look photos, but I couldn't help myself! He looked so handsome, and I was so ready to be his wife! It also helped in that we were able to do bridal party photos after our first look, so that didn't take up time after the wedding ceremony. I am team first look!
I suffer from anxiety too and I completely empathize with your feelings! My hubby and I got married on a hot July day too! The only thing that kept me sane that day was seeing him. We had the sanctuary to ourselves, minus two photographers who captured the moment. It was intimate, romantic, and the highlight of the day for me. Lots if other things went wrong, but I am thankful we did it that way.
Your wedding pictures are gorgeous and I bet you have some spectacular memories too!
Your wedding pictures are beautiful :)
We will be doing a first look. Absolutely. I knew all along that I wanted one, and now as our wedding is getting closer, I'm even happier that we decided to do one.
Lauren
http://choosingjoy7.blogspot.com/
I love this post and I hope that future brides read it - no one tells you about things like this!!
I agree!!! I would have love to get some great pictures and releive some anxiety. About 5 minutes before walking down the aisle my mom told me to sign my name for the last time...and then the uncontrollable water works started (thanks mom)
PS I always love when you post about your wedding! You're such a beautiful bride!
I struggle with anxiety too. :( It sucks. Imagine wanting to look at your husband and when the doors open he is facing away from you. That happened to me. I was expecting to be able to focus on him but he was looking away...apparently it's a UK thing? I don't know. I'm glad you made it down the aisle because yall make the cutest couple!
Lura
x
This is so me! I have severe anxiety and I get that sick feeling in my stomach that makes me want to just crawl back into bed. I decided long ago that we're doing a first look --whether or not he wants to, because I don't think I can make it without freaking out otherwise. lol
Yeah, I was freaking out and crying and dry-heaving before walking down the aisle so I feel ya on this! ;)
Whoa - I never thought about doing a first look because of the tradition standpoint, but I get super nervous about public events and you make a great point.
oh well at my wedding... oh wait.
You know how I feel!
Good think you looked gorge....
We had a first look and it was definitely one of the best decisions we made. I was a disaster as I was walking up to him for the first look so I'm glad we did that in private and I didn't cry all the way down the aisle, ha. I was still nervous right before the doors opened, but as soon as I saw my husband, I was fine. Glad you didn't pass out!!!
I'm pretty superstitious but I say, it's your wedding... do what you gotta do. Shame you were so anxious on such a big day. Hopefully you enjoyed the rest of it!
I feel the same way. I wish I would have done it. I am actually blogging tomorrow about things I was offered but I turned down and a first look was one of them!
omgosh the pic of Nick about to cry. MELT MY HEART!!
you looked gorgeous first of all...second of all that bouquet is so pretty! 3rd of all.....this is now making ME think about what to do!
well lets be honest...first i have to freaking get ENGAGED
i think i would WANT to do a first look, as you say, so that I can feel a little less nervous, but then seeing pics of when brides walk down the aisle and their man is just so blown away, I want that feeling too!!
OR I've also seen the "stand on either side of the doors and talk/hold hands" but not see each other!?
o god when I finally get engaged I'm going to be loaded with questions/concerns/anxiety!!
xoxoxo
I just adore that picture of Nick! And you are a beautiful bride! Just stunning!
And I am not sure if I would have done a first look. I'm pretty calm in times of stress (I guess it comes with the profession?) but it would have been neat to maybe do the thing where you hold hands on either side of a door or something. But I didn't have pinterest back then for that inspiration. :)
This is the reason I want a first look when my time to get married comes. My anxiety is at an all time high most days, so on my wedding day I can imagine it'll be even worse.
I LOVE that picture of Nick watching you walk down the aisle. Gives me the goosebumps :)
I always try to convince my brides to do a first look! I think the pros outweigh the cons at least two to one. So many traditions aren't relevant as it is, and if you can calm down a bit and actually enjoy your wedding a little more, then why not?
It breaks my heart that you were so anxious walking down the aisle. Personally, we had a first look and it was amazing. I still cried when I walked down the aisle, sure, but we were so much more comfortable and knew exactly what was going on. Thanks for sharing your story with us Whitney! xoxo
Screw tradition! Seriously! I was all alone in the bathroom while everyone was waiting for the ceremony to begin. I had a mini panic attack and no one to calm me down. I wish I didn't have an LDS wedding because then someone might have given a shot of something I so desperately needed! I would have loved to spend time with him beforehand to just chill out. That moment he sees you walking down the aisle would have been just as special either way. I love your hubby's face in that photo - so tender!
I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't speak up more!
We didn't do a first look. I mean, we were setting up our own wedding since it was mostly DIY, so until about one hour before walking down the aisle, we are both in the reception room buzzing about with our loved ones anyway. He was already in his suit, and my hair and make-up were already done. The last part was the dress!
We treated our wedding like a big party that included our loved ones, and we designed our day how WE wanted it. Since you know me IRL, this probably doesn't surprise you, but when you finally meet Husband, you'll see just how free yet intentional he is!
oh no! I'm so sorry you didn't feel empowered to push for what would have made you feel more comfortable :( That picture of Nick is wonderful, though, and you DID make it - you kept your eye on the prize! SO much love.
We didn't but gosh I wish we had!! I tell all brides that I know to have a first look. Seriously. Just do it!
We didn't do a first look but a few of my friends did and it was so beautiful! I got to watch one of my best friend's first look from a balcony and it was the sweetest thing and the pictures were even better. Just for the pictures I kind of wish I would have done it!
I didnt do the first look and was happy we didnt, I loved seeing him on the aisle for the first time
Post a Comment