That Time I Got Drunk Making Cookies

It's our last day in the office and we're headed to SC tomorrow! I got this from a co-worker today and I just had to share it with y'all.

Source: thestir.cafemom.com via Shannon on Pinterest

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies*

Ingredients                         
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
                     

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl and check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chunck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a Frewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsilsticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.
 

Cherry Mistmas !

*If you didn't guess, this isn't an actual recipe nor does it match the Pinterest link I embedded. If you decide to attempt this recipe, be cautious!